|Posted 01-08-2004 12:47 by Orion
hmmmm review's verschillen nogal:
Mustaine Makes Little Girl's Music! - 13%
Written by TheClansman on July 22nd, 2004
THIS JUST IN! LATE BREAKING NEWS! MEGADETH HAVE LOST THEIR EDGE!
Not very surprising is it? Things have been going downhill for a long time, and material hasn’t been good since Youthanasia. Dave is back now, and we have an album of REJECT riffs from days gone by. Really, were you expecting something good from this? Sure it’s not Risk pt. 2, but it still manages to suck.
Even more news, Dave Mustaine’s testicles are being auctioned off on eBay. Dave is currently keeping them in a jar in his closet, right next to his talent for songwriting (which is reported to be in a shoebox). Yep, that’s right, Mustaine is really out of it. His vocals lack anything even related to aggression, which is fucking terrible. Crappy singers like Mustaine need to have emotion in their voice, if they don’t they’re completely fucked. The lyrics are largely lame too. There happens to be a fair bit of wussy whining type stuff on this album. I don’t wanna hear this stuff on a thrash album. Ugh.
The riffs suck, but considering this is an album made up of reject material that isn’t surprising (although its still depressing, considering the material on the first 4 Megadeth albums). They plod along and aren’t kind enough to know when to stop. All of these songs would be boring at 30 seconds long. This is a very bad thing. The only good thing is the drums, which aren’t impressive in themselves, but do hide the guitars from time to time. Yaay!
On to the music we go.
Blackmail the Universe – You know, this song really isn’t that bad. It’s nothing great, or even good, but it isn’t bad. Starts off with a reasonable riff, and some duel bass. Hooray. But wait! What’s this?! Dave’s singing is terrible? Yep. I know he was never a very good singer, but this is a new low. Ugh. The riffs keep coming, and they keep up with being horribly mediocre. They aren’t quite bad enough to earn a full out tongue lashing of disgust, but they sure aren’t good enough for me to get excited. At least they get hidden in the midst of the duel kick in some parts of the song. Duel kick is a double-edged sword, and in this case, both edges prove useful. The drumming itself isn’t bad, and it hides the guitar work (which is usually a bad thing, but not here). Hiding mediocre riffs is always a good thing. The song ends and I feel cheated. I haven’t felt a desire to bang my head, or sing along. The song is just sort of there, taking up time. It wasn’t painful to listen to, it wasn’t boring, it wasn’t anything really. It was just sucking up time. Bummer.
Die Dead Enough – Well the intro is meh. Guitar stuff with some synth in the background. It gives way to the song quickly enough at least. Sadly, this isn’t much better. It sounds like something that should have been on cryptic writings. This is a bad thing. I would expect to find this on the soundtrack to a crappy action film, and little else. I know that’s a strange description, but this really sounds like it belongs in such an atmosphere. Ugh, the bridge in this is fucking annoying. Dave Mustaine proving the music was never about his singing, and about the guitar riffs. Those guitar riffs are absent here. Ugh. Slow, plodding, boring, uninspired. At least the solo is enjoyable, and the drums kick in to hide the rhythm guitar again. The drums last after the solo too, so we get drums + vocals and little else. Arg. Losing the guitar is a plus yes, but the vocals are still the most annoying bit of this. Luckily, it ends before my ears begin to bleed.
Kick the Chair – Best song on the album, although that really isn’t saying much. It may have a horribly bad name, but the riffs here are at least up to par with what I expect from a Megadeth album. It has a bit of a ‘Take No Prisoners’ vibe. That’s a VERY good thing. The vocals aren’t as aggressive as they were on ‘Take No Prisoners’ though, and that takes away from the song. The chorus is a bit of a let down, but still enjoyable. The solo begins, and I’m wondering why they bothered? I’m sure they could have thrown in a better solo, and a better riff behind the solo then this. Further more, I’m sure Mustaine did this solo, as its crap. I mean, the guy did well when he was doing the solo for Holy Wars, and he even manages to do some good work on Hangar 18, but other then that, soloing is NOT Mustaine’s strong point. Anyone who has ever seen ‘She-Wolf’ off of the ‘Rude Awakening’ DVD knows this, except Mustaine himself apparently. Leave the solos to someone else Dave. Soon enough the solos and the song itself end. Too bad it ended on a bit of a sour note, if they had just played another verse and called it quits I would have been satisfied. Regardless, it’s the best thing on the album, and overall good.
The Scorpion – Guitar leads start this one off, and soon after guitars join in to create a ‘different’ sort of intro to the song. Mediocre again sadly. We get into the song, and we have a super boring lamer riff with more boring unemotional singing from Mustaine. Once again, this sounds like something from a bad action movie’s soundtrack. The riffs are boring, Mustaine is uninspired, and nothing about this song makes me want to listen to it. Ugh, fucking fuck. No wonder these riffs never made it to a previous album. Still better then Risk (which is barely worthy of elevator music), but not by much. That damn intro gets played again and I wonder where the hell they are going with this one. No where interesting it turns out. Back into the verse, and then we get another chorus, featuring Mustaine kicking up the vocals a notch. Whoop-dee-doo, he’s louder now, he is still completely void of any emotion. Some soloing follows for a very short period of time, and its better then the rest of the song, but still rather bland. The lame chorus again, the lame verse, and the intro reappears as the outro. Ugh, just end already. There go 6 minutes of my life I’m never getting back.
Tears In A Vial – Lame name-o-rama! Tears In A Vial? What the fuck is this crap? From the name alone you know you’re going to be hearing something that’s girly. Yep, the first riff we get sounds like it should have been on Risk with the rest of the crap that sounds like it. Its weak, it’s boring, it makes me want to hit the next button as soon as possible. Too bad I cant because of this review. The chorus is just as lame as the verse, and features wussy lyrics too boot (‘wah wah I had to give up something I loved wah wah wah something about tears’, few things are more annoying someone crying in the midst of a song. Why don’t you go cry in a beer by yourself instead? I’m sure the rest of the world will thank you). I can’t quite tell, but I’m thinking this is an apology to a love interest about drug habits. This is just a guess though, I’m not reading the lyrics, merely listening to a few quotes here and there. While the start of the song is super lame, the end kicks the pace up and stops sucking so damn hard. It won’t give you an orgasm, or even a pleasurable listening experience, and those 80 seconds of mediocre aren’t worth the 4 minutes of suck. This is quite possibly the worst song on the album. Avoid this one at all costs.
I Know Jack – a pointless little interlude, featuring some harmonised guitar bits that everyone, everywhere could live without. I’ll never understand why guitarists think playing solos is a valid use of time on an album. If the solo doesn’t add to the song, or feature something excellent behind it, it’s a waste. Rarely are guitar solos every powerful enough to stand-alone by themselves. We need something really breath taking for stupid little tracks like this one to be acceptable. Eruption was an acceptable guitar track, this little piece of boredom is not. It’s wonderful if you need practice pushing the next button, but for the 99% of the population who don’t, it’s merely a nuisance. Next.
Back In the Day – Back in the day ‘Megadeth’ meant enjoyable thrash. It’s a distant memory now though. This song is a bit faster then the rest of the plodding ass-like riffs that have infested the album so far, but it still blows, and still lacks anything worth listening to. Tributes to metal days gone by that suck make dead metal legends roll in their graves. Every time you listen to this song Paul Baloff’s corpse is chewed away at by fuzzy pink bunnies and mallcore kids. Please, have a heart and don’t listen to this abomination. The song isn’t pure crap, but the lyrics are enough to really piss me off. This is on about the same level as Metallica changing all the lyrics on saint anger to ‘RAWR WE USED TO PLAY METAL THEN WE STOPPED NOW WE PLAY METAL AGAIN I SWEAR!’ Ok it isn’t that bad, but you get the idea. It’s a crappy song about something that’s never coming back (i.e. good thrash Megadeth). Hey Dave, this is a hint that you really should give it up and retire already.
Something I’m Not – Good anymore obviously. Another lame riff, more of Dave trying to vocally show us he doesn’t care anymore. This is another one that belongs on Cryptic Writings. The lyrics are crap too. Remember when Megadeth lyrics used to be associated with political outrage, death, and the occult? Remember how much that used to kick ass? Yea, you’ll want to remember that when you’re listening to this so you don’t hate Megadeth. ‘Waaaah you turned your back on me you sell-out!’ A lot of this seems to be mindless crying about selling out and making crappy music for money and fame. The irony is pretty damn thick. I must say. This song is painful to listen too. Crappy riffs + annoying lyrics = the clansman is not a happy camper. I would suggest you try stabbing through your eardrums before listening to this one, its much more enjoyable I assure you. Be sure to have your pillow properly fluffed too, you’re going to need it for sure.
Truth Be Told – The song starts off with something that makes me think we’re going to get a heavy riff going after it ends. The anticipation is nice, I’m not going to lie. Sadly, it turns super gay right after, and I can actually feel my heart sinking down into my toes. Crappy light shit to throw off what I was expecting. Foolish me. The riff does get a bit heavier, but not any better. More shit riffs. SON OF A FUCKING FUCK PLAY SOMETHING GOOD DAMN YOU. Arg, this is painful. Its like listening to The Glorious Burden, except without the triplets, and good singing. Back into the shitty light stuff we go. Yep, Glorious Burden syndrome indeed. This painful, painful bit goes on into another chorus, and I’m debating throwing my speakers out a window. Thankfully the bridge to this song is a bit better. No, it’s still not good, but it’s better. We get a shitty Mustaine solo, and bleargh, I’m getting frustrated. It cuts out into something faster, and all around better, that’s almost on the same level as ‘Blackmail the Universe’. Hooray! It doesn’t suck! That’s all I can really ask for the rest of this crappy album. It ends soon enough, and I’m that much closer to the end of this nightmare of a listening experience. The end just won’t come soon enough I’m afraid.
Of Mice And Men – A shitty intro again. Dave Mustaine singing and nothing else is never ever a good sign. Great, lame riffs, lame drumming, and more lame riffs. ‘WHEN I WAS 17 I HAD DREAMS BLAH BLAH BLAH 21 BLAH BLAH I HAD NO FRIENDS AT 21 BLAH BLAH’ ARG SHUT THE FUCK UP! You’ve ruined a wonderful Frank Sinatra song for me with these shitty lyrics. George W Bush is starting wars all over the place, and you decide to sing about this?! What the fuck happened to Peace Sells, Who’s Buying? I don’t want to hear your story, I want to hear some good riffs and something fucking aggressive. Mustaine might as well go get a sex change. He’s turned into a complete and total pussy. Even his voice sounds meek. This annoys me to no end. To sum this song up, shitty boring riffs, behind Mustaine letting us know he’s gotten old, weak, and generally useless.
Shadow Of Deth – Well lookie here! He put the word Deth in the title instead of death! Isn’t he a clever one? Ugh, this one is lame right from the start. A shitty riff (that sounds down tuned, which is NOT pleasant at all) with Christian prayer spoken over it. Who the fuck wants to hear this? The talking stops, but the riffs continue to suck. Boredom is all around and there is no escape! Boring leads that don’t exactly impress me play for a little while, before we return to the original riff. Ugh, please, no more, I surrender, just let it end. Well, at least the song is short, and I’m ever closer to finishing up this ever so shitty album, but still there is more I must listen to. O woe is me.
My Kingdom Come – The start reminds me of Virgin Steele (although I cant quite remember which song), but Virgin Steele are far too good to let this boring crap go on for as damn long as this ends up going. With this in mind, I know this doesn’t mean the song is going to be good. Crap. The drums kick in, and what a surprise, its crap. Ugh. At least around a minute and a half things kick up a little bit. The riff is strangely similar to one heard in Kick the Chair, but the solo isn’t half as interesting, and the riff itself is not quite as good for whatever reason. Although this section isn’t very good, I really wish it would go on for longer, as when it stops things are pure crap. Yuck. At least this song is short and I don’t have to put up with it for much longer. What the fuck is wrong with Dave Mustaine? Has he lost all pride in his work? I would feel fucking ashamed if something this bad were going to be associated with my name.
There you have it. For damn near 50 minutes this album plods along, sucking every bit of good out of the atmosphere. How anyone could enjoy this is beyond me. I don’t care how much of a Megadeth fan boy you are, you should be able to tell this is pure crap as soon as you turn it on. Kick The Chair is the only thing I can see myself listening to later on down the line, everything else on the album has no chance of it. Listening to the material on this album once through was one to many times.
The trend of old bands making crappy music continues. Megadeth join Exodus, Iced Earth, and Metallica in the ranks of bands that were once good (or in Metallica’s case acceptable), but have released absolutely dismal albums in the last little while. It’s not as bad as St. Anger mind you, but it’s still pretty terrible. At least it’s shorter. Its time to stop putting faith in these old bands to make great music, and start looking for the young up-and-coming bands who are kicking ass (with a few exceptions, such as Sodom, Destruction, and hopefully Kreator later this year). The younger bands out there deserve your hard earned cash for a job well done far more then Dave Mustaine does (especially since he’s going to blow it on heroin anyway). Do yourself a favour, and stay far away from this album when it comes out (or at the very least just download it). Do yourself an even bigger favour, and go buy a Cyst, or Dekapitator album instead (you’ll be doing them a favour too). If you want to do the world an even bigger favour, consider writing to Dave Mustaine letting him know you aren’t impressed. Maybe if we all do it he’ll stop releasing such shitty music.
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