| Hypnos |
| Godmadeself |
 |
 |
|
 Posted 05-05-2007 1:51 by Hypnos (Hoofdredacteur) |
 |
|
You work for me and I'll work for you"
"Its just over the hill"
"It's just round the corner"
"You're in your own time now!"
"I've got all night, I've got a salad in the fridge and my wife is ugly"
"Private your webbing is rattling like a skeleton wanking in a biscuit tin."
"Unfuck my Shit!"
"You have till the count of ten to unfuck yourself. One, two, ten. TOO LATE!!!"
"I see dead people!"
"What flavor were the fucking windows? I'll bet you were a fuckin' window licker, weren't you?"
"SGT, make note: today will be a very long day."
"You look like a fucking abortion!"
"You people move like old people fuck - Slowly, sloppily, or not at all!"
"You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with an A-Bomb."
"You knuckleheads aren't even soup...you're more like a thin watery broth."
"Move out smartly, Private. Or in your case, just move out."
"Do push ups 'till your elbows explode!"
"I can't make you do anything. But I can make you fuckin' wish you had."
"This whole platoon is one big, steaming pile of gay."
"You act like you've got two brain cells and they're in an argument and not talking to each other."
"If there was EVER a reason for sterilizing people at birth, you people are it."
"Private, you occupy a much needed void in my platoon."
"Keep pushing until I'm tired"
"I have more games than Milton Bradley!"
"You look like a monkey fucking a football!"
"That makes about as much sense as a football bat."
"You should have been a hand job."
"When did you first realize you were a stupid motherfucker?"
"Go ask Drill Sgt. Smith why you are so fucked up."
"Roger what? Dickhead? Cocksucker? Fishing buddy?"
"If you can't plug your cockholsters I will plug it for you."
"Sarge? Did you know that a sarge is a shit sucking fish? Oh you didn't know so you are just a ignorant asshole."
"You are not graded on technique, only results."
"You are pissing on the wheels of human progress!"
"It's mind over matter boy. I don't mind because it don't matter."
"You have about a heartbeat to get off of my bus."
"Beat your fuckin face."
"Monkey-fuckers, GO!"
"Your momma left the best part of you on the floor."
"Why are you in *my* Army Private?"
"You are living proof that a fetus can dodge a coat hanger for 9 months"
"What the fuck did you shave with, a dildo?"
"Beat your face."
"If you're America's best and brightest, the country's in a whole lotta trouble."
"Don't thank me, thank your recruiter."
"If you look at me again, I'll rip your eyeballs out and skull fuck you."
"Did your mom have any kids that lived?"
"I want you to push this earth out of orbit maggots!"
"We're just waiting on you darling, take your time sweetheart!"
"Ewe, did you just call me a female sheep?"
"Lock it up!"
"Oh boy we're just having a party here are we? Well let me join, I like to laugh. What's so Fuckin' Funny?"
"I'm gonna make you sweat so much it rains in here!"
"You must be the poster child for the pro abortion movement."
"You're a waste of human flesh."
"You must be a fucking genius. How else could you have so totally fucked this up?"
"That uniform looks like a sack of shit, and the problem is NOT the uniform."
(said slightly aside when picking up new recruits) "I must have done something to piss off God."
"As we train, always remember; Try and stay close to me! Not for your survival's sake, but so I don't have to crawl so far under fire for your gear..."
"I will scuff you like a brillo on a skillet"
"I wish your dad had 3 night jobs so he wouldn't have the energy to spend with your momma."
"HEY! If you would have done the right thing the FIRST time, we wouldn't be having this conversation!"
"You couldn't poor piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel."
"Were you born this stupid or are you just trying to perfect it?"
"With the speed of a gang-banged orangutang... GO!!"
"Don't call me sir, I fucking work for a living!"
"You really are a mental leopard!"
"Daddy should have just jerked off in the kleenex and flushed u down the toilet."
"Use tools you goddamn yard apes. Tools are the mark of advanced creatures. Monkeys use them for gods sake, and you people still can't figure it out!"
"That man and his beret need to come to some sort of an understanding."
"This smells like a shithouse on a tuna boat"
"You may not be involved in Afghanistan. Do not worry; another shithole shall appear for you."
"Try to picture under what circumstances I would give you live ammunition. I don't care if there are wolverines out there, I will not even give you a sharp stick!"
"Marker! Get your marker vest! Without it, we are not safe! A crazed lion or lioness could attack us! And they are attracted to shiny things, so you must wear the vest so that they maul you instead of us!"
"Come here HERO"
"Are you a fucking oxygen thief or what?"
"You are fucked up like polio"
"If a lion attacks you, pull out your bayonet and point it at your back so that when the lion pounces, you will be a quadriplegic. You will then not feel the lion mauling you."
" The army is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkey on top sees all smiling faces and all the one on the bottom sees is assholes."
Said in a tone of honest inquiry... "Son... Tell me, were your parents actually *breeding* for stupidity, or were you just a happy accident?"
"As the say in the Russian Marines no shitski."
*Smack* "Wipe that blood off your nose." *Smack* "I didn't say wipe it on your uniform."
"What do YOU think this IS? THE HOLIDAY INN?? You had BETTER wake your young ass UP!"
"I will stick my boot so far up your ass that your breath will smell like Kiwi."
"If you are not here in five seconds, you are WRONG."
"You are moving like POND WATER, third platoon!"
"I'm going to smoke you until the WALLS sweat!"
"Private you are R-T-D, retarded! DON'T YOU FUCKING CORRECT ME!"
"That's alright. You all owe me"
"You are an EVERY time no-go, Private"
"Yeah?! Yeah what?! Yeah-asshole?! DROP!"
"So you think this weapon is clean?"
"Are you trying to piss me off?"
"Get your feet on the ready line, now now now!"
"Private, you're all ate up, and I haven't even gotten to you yet."
"Portholes now! Take a good look... Eyeballs now! (prolonged pause) Now, if any of you have sisters and girlfriends show up on visitors Thursday as fucking ugly as that, I will fucking kill them..."
"Boy I'm gonna punch you smoooooooth the fuck out."
"DAMNIT PRIVATE! Congradu-FUCKING-lations! You have succeeded in pissing me the fuck off! Let your mother fucking bodies hit the floor!"
"Private Snuffy, call your mother and in your best Boston accent that you came by plane, your going home by bus!"
"You eyeballin' me boy? Don't turn away, your ass is already grass."
"Stop smokin' and jokin'"
"Is it just me or did it just get stupider in here?"
"Front leaning rest position now! Push ups are medicine for what ails ME."
"Asses and elbows people; it's time to get up!"
signature
|
.jpg)
