IndexProfielRegistrerenHelpActive TopicsSearch Inloggen
Index / Heavy Metal Nieuw Topic
Dit topic is 15 pagina's lang: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Auteur:
Topic : TRUE BLACK METAL Vorige pagina | Volgende pagina
FireFox
Lifeform 009
Usericon van FireFox
Posted 26-10-2001 10:00 by FireFox Profiel van FireFox

Er is maar een TRUE-BM BAND namelijk de:
HARVESTERS OF DEATH,
met hun grote hit HAMBURGERS,
too much mosterd too much ketchup,
klote geluidskwaliteit, en slechte productie
dus heel true *grin*


Our song begins to play. It's notes so light and free they dance in my ears and blind my sight. I think of when we danced and laughed when we kissed under the stars and held our hands in the mist.


karnivoor
Usericon van karnivoor
Posted 26-10-2001 10:09 by karnivoor Profiel van karnivoorhttp://www.kanker.nl/

hoevaak is het woordt true wel niet gevallen hiero

strax wordt ik ook nog true joh


Je moeder.


elessar
sienimyrkytys
Usericon van elessar
Posted 26-10-2001 11:41 by elessar Profiel van elessarhttp://www.last.fm/user/ouwetaart/

Maar volgens mij is Svartur Dödur toch wel een beetje serieus, moet je die MP3's maar eens beluisteren, gewoon een zooitje schooljongens die BM willen maken maar het wil niet helemaal lukkken dus maken ze vooral lol. En bekijk die foto's maar die op die site staan. Ze zijn ook al jaren bezig trouwens, die hamburgerfoto's hebben ze al een hele tijd geleden weggehaald.



[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door elessar op 26-10-2001 11:51]



elessar
sienimyrkytys
Usericon van elessar
Posted 27-10-2001 16:01 by elessar Profiel van elessarhttp://www.last.fm/user/ouwetaart/

Dit vond ik op alt.music.blackmetal:

quote:
I hope this hasn't been sent here before!!



101 Rules of Black Metal

1. Don't be gay.
2. Be "true".
3. All people who aren't "true" are gay.
4. Be grim.
5. Be necro.
6. Be simultaneously grim and necro if at all possible.
7. Break things while being grim and necro.
8. Don't have fun at concerts. Stand around with arms crossed.
9. Repeat all above while denouncing organized religion in any form.
10. Never ever, EVER under ANY circumstances...
11. ...Listen to Peccatum.
12. When someone asks you if you enjoy the music of Mayhem, point out that
you only enjoy the music of "the true" Mayhem. Maniac is gay.
13. Don't play with fuzzy things, excepting that by "play" you mean "burn".
14. Don't be Dani Filth.
15. Never, ever, under any circumstances utter the phrase "Kenny G
slams,man."
16. Don't be Dani Filth.
17. When your mom tells you to take out the garbage tell her that you're
too metal to remove refuse.
18. Run for it!
19. Sodomize a virgin whore.
20. Sodomize anything that is not male. (Fuzzy things look out!)
21. Make sure your album goes out of print about 3 years after its
release... so it becomes 'cult'.
22. When in doubt, say "True Norwiegian Black Metal!"
23. If that doesn't work, blast beats can fill any silence.
24. Turn any cross you find upside-down.
25. Nipple twisting is not a blackmetal activity..
26. Write a cult, underground, grim and necro zine. Feature only interviews
with bands no one has heard of, even "true" blackmetallers.
27. Never ever, EVER, EVER be open-minded.
28. Never write songs less than 15 minutes long and containing less than 15
adjectives in the title.
29. a) paint face. b) go in woods. c) act like troll.
30. Don't be Mortiis (or Dani Filth).
31. Don't wear white shoes after Labor Day.
32. Don't make jokes only your mom would get.
33. Don't make jokes.
34. When in doubt, scowl with eyes downturned.
35. Don't eat Marshmellow Peeps.
36. To producers of black metal albums: remember...no low end! If it
doesn't hurt to listen to, it can't be "true".
37. Make sure that no less than half of the musicians on your album are
"session" members.
38. When in concert, always growl names of songs so that they are
imperceptible. This will ensure that anyone who doesn't have
your "cult" LP won't get it.
39. Never play live.
40. When getting ready to go to a show, completely forget that the other
people there are not going to the show to look at you.
41. Use barbed wire whenever possible. (Note: this assists in being both
"necro" and "grim".)
42. When asked by a non true BMer what BM is, say something like, "BM is
the raw essence of pure black evil in man", in any case, make sure that
by
the conversations end, the other person still has no idea what black
metal is.
43. Drive one of your band members to suicide, and claim he died because of
the "mainstream" "infecting" the "scene".
44. Reform with "old members" and release an album intended to produce
commercial success.
45. When it flops say that you meant it to fail cause anything less wouldn't
be "true".
46. Have a side project. Ensure that all other members of your band also
have side projects.
47. Fill out the other slots in your other member's side projects as
"session" musicians.
48. Record everything in the same studio with the same
producer/instruments/equipment/etc.
49. Make sure your album cover never consists of more than three colors
(color options allowed: grey, black, white).
50. Publicly state that your band is "non-religious", then use the word
"Satan" over 400 times on your one-song thirty-minute album.
51. Never stuff your shoes to make them appear puffy and avoid the wearing
of backwards baseball caps if at all possible. Red ones in particular.
52. Insist that music should never progress and that it should still sound
the same way it did 9 friggin years ago.
53. Never say "friggin".
54. Never finish anything you start.
55. The word "Hail" is the only appropriate greeting whenever greeting
someone "true".
56. If feeling especially true on a given occasion, try "Infernal Hails".
57. All logos must include illegible writing and at least one inverted
cross and/or pentagram. This is non-negotiable.
58. When referring to sex with a Metal Chick use only the terminology
"sticking my
clouded frost-spire into her gates of attrition".
59. Design complex logo for your grim black metal band on binder paper in
the middle of math class.
60. Accept every interview you're offered... then pretend that you really
don't enjoy being interviewed.
61. Thoroughly enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation.
62. Wait... scratch that last one. (See rule 1)
63. Never divulge to any outsiders the Exact Day of the Divine Arrival of
the Massive Hoof. Instead, inform them that they should be ready to suck
the Dark Lord's greasy @#%$ at any time.
64. Use the phrase "suck the dark lord's greasy @#%$" whenever possible.
65. If you ever find that you have somehow become a member of Hecate
Enthroned, be sure to piece together a music video of scrap footage of
yourself walking around in the woods at night looking evil. Only,
instead
of being night make sure it's the middle of the @#%$ day, and instead of
looking evil, look dorky instead. (See also: rule 1)
666.Own hundreds of black metal albums, demos and bootlegs. Listen to
approximately 8 of them regularly.
67. Humping a ceramic Virgin Mary in front of your uncle's house is not
"pimping it" (unless you tell her you're done then blow in her face like
a
shotgun when she turns around).
68. Refrain from using keyboard smilies when communicating via the Internet.
Single acceptable smiley: -(
69. Why isn't the word "Northern" in your album title yet!? Get to it!
Amateurs...
70. Spelling things correctly is neither grim nor necro.
71. Norsk Arysk Blak Metal! Rahhh!!
72. No matter where you're from, pretend you're from Norway and therefore
'true'.
73. Don't be Dani Filth. (I think that's clear)
74. All pets you own now will henceforth be known as "Crucifier". Any pets
you own in the future will also be known as "Crucifier".
75. True black metaller: "Many of our dark hyms are influenced by the
mighty Tolkien... You have not read the works of Tolkien!? Nerd. Wait a
minute... It appears I am the nerdy one after all!"
76. @#%$, I'm talking to myself again.
77. Norsk Arysk Blak Metal! Rahhh!!
78. That's better, on with the interview!
80. Create inverted crosses in all possible instances. Suggested tools:
Drum sticks, twigs, pool cues, pencils, etc. (See also "clouded frost
spire")
81. Profess publicly that you are a Satanist and add that you are in touch
with Norway's ancient Pagan past. Pretend that somehow those two facts
make
sense in conjunction.
82. Stick your dick in the mashed potatoes.
83. Don't make Beastie Boys references.
84. Don't make references.
85. Satanus. Huh huh huhuhuhuh.
86. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuh.
87. If possible, design the title of your album so that it consists of
three completely unrelated words. Dimmu Borgir are the master of this
(i.e.
Enthrone Darkness Triumphant, Spiritual Black Dimensions,
Puritanical Euphoric Misanthropia, Godless Savage Garden) but you may
also
want to refer to Immortal's "Diabolical Fullmoon Mysticism".
88. As we all know, women have no place in the homoerotic world of black
metal, but if your girl friend still won't stop bugging you about
wanting
to be involved in your band, give her a lame spoken word part or
something.
89. Never form a band containing you, your wife and/or girlfriend, and some
gay looking guy. (See also: rule 11)
90. Go to bed when your mom tells you to.
91. If it's rare, it must be good. Order it immediately.
92. I will not add that as it is not metal enough.
93. Are you metal enough to be reading this?
94. Own every Darkthrone release. Listen to exactly none of them.
95. Own cult-as-@#%$ shirts of bands you not only own no releases of, but
also haven't even heard.
96. Use the phrase "cult-as-@#%$" whenever possible.
97. Attempt to randomly throw the word "@#%$" during random segments of
your songs. (Kindly refer to Attilla's work on De Mysteriis Dom
Sathanas.)
98. In order to make your recording more incomprehensible and therefore
more "cult", be sure to either select a singer who has only a tenuous
grasp
on the language to be sung. (Acceptable languages: Norwegian, Latin,
Orcish.)
99. I'll tell you what your album lay out needs...Some titties.
100.And you know what else? How long since you acted like a troll? Pick up
that makeup and fight, soldier!
101.You mean to tell me you read this whole thing when you could've have
been prancing about in the forest with an axe? For shame! For
shaaaaame!!



XnegativeX
Usericon van XnegativeX
Posted 27-10-2001 16:11 by XnegativeX Profiel van XnegativeXhttp://www.myspace.com/dennisjanssen

waaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzuuupppppppppp????
Just chillin', drinkin' a budd.
TRUE TRUE


I know it’s cold, but I will keep us warm with all the hate I radiate. We’ll be walking hand in hand in hell.


FireFox
Lifeform 009
Usericon van FireFox
Posted 27-10-2001 16:57 by FireFox Profiel van FireFox

eh wathin' the game, having a bud,
TRUE......TRUE....whasssup!!


Our song begins to play. It's notes so light and free they dance in my ears and blind my sight. I think of when we danced and laughed when we kissed under the stars and held our hands in the mist.


NagasH
Beer, It's your friend.
Usericon van NagasH
Posted 28-10-2001 23:07 by NagasH Profiel van NagasH

ik ben niet true. whehe


"Je hoeft niet aan een boom te hangen om een eikel te zijn"


NecRomantica
Usericon van NecRomantica
Posted 28-10-2001 23:24 by NecRomantica Profiel van NecRomantica

ik ook al nie


Warrior_of_Odin
Usericon van Warrior_of_Odin
Posted 28-10-2001 23:25 by Warrior_of_Odin Profiel van Warrior_of_Odin

ik luister folk maar ook burzum en darkthrone
ben ik goed gekeurd


Vargen666
Niet de bassiste van Sigh
Usericon van Vargen666
Posted 28-10-2001 23:45 by Vargen666 Profiel van Vargen666http://www.facebook.com/ultravargen

Hahaha, ja die 101 Rules of Black Metal zijn idd erg hilarisch. Don't be Dani Filth... Don't play with fuzzy things, except when with play you mean burn.



Greycloak
Gebroeders Grey
Usericon van Greycloak
Posted 28-10-2001 23:55 by Greycloak (Speciaal lid) Profiel van Greycloak

Ik houd helemaal niet zo van Black Metal in het algemeen. Ben ik nu in het geheel niet true, of zijn hier ook weer termen voor?


What a day, what a day If you can look it in the face and hold your vomit


Vargen666
Niet de bassiste van Sigh
Usericon van Vargen666
Posted 29-10-2001 0:05 by Vargen666 Profiel van Vargen666http://www.facebook.com/ultravargen

quote:
Op 28 oktober 2001 23:55 schreef Greycloak het volgende:
Ik houd helemaal niet zo van Black Metal in het algemeen. Ben ik nu in het geheel niet true, of zijn hier ook weer termen voor?
Ik denk dat je dan gewoon niet True bent. Maar ik zal even mijn True Black Metal Rulebook er bij pakken... Hmm... ja, hier staat het:

"Mensen die helemaal niet van BM in het algemeen houden zijn per definitie niet True. Trueheid kan pas bereikt worden als men alle andere vormen van muziek buiten slecht-geproduceerde eentonige BM schuwt, en zichzelf ten alle tijde alszijnde True profileerd. Uitzondering op de regel zijn voormalige Black Metal artiesten die hun creativiteit verloren zijn en Nintendo-muziek maken (maakten) vanuit de gevangenis."

Nou, duidelijk toch.



elessar
sienimyrkytys
Usericon van elessar
Posted 29-10-2001 9:32 by elessar Profiel van elessarhttp://www.last.fm/user/ouwetaart/

Van een collega die (denk ik) nog nooit BM heeft gehoord:
quote:
Zijn koeien niet true?
Ze hebben jarenlang hun gemalen soortgenoten opgegeten en ze spreken met veel bas in hun stemmen en zijn ook nauwelijks te verstaan.
Het meeste wat de koeien uitbrengen zijn negatieve geluiden! ("Boeoeoeoe" ).
Ze hebben zelfs hoorntjes!
Ze dragen regelmatig zwart leer, met volgens mij witte corpsepaint (de Nederlandse koeien natuurlijk, de rest zijn gay!)



Lord Morgoth
Fear me...
Usericon van Lord Morgoth
Posted 29-10-2001 9:53 by Lord Morgoth Profiel van Lord Morgoth

quote:
Op 29 oktober 2001 0:05 schreef Vargen666 het volgende:

"Mensen die helemaal niet van BM in het algemeen houden zijn per definitie niet True. Trueheid kan pas bereikt worden als men alle andere vormen van muziek buiten slecht-geproduceerde eentonige BM schuwt, en zichzelf ten alle tijde alszijnde True profileerd. Uitzondering op de regel zijn voormalige Black Metal artiesten die hun creativiteit verloren zijn en Nintendo-muziek maken (maakten) vanuit de gevangenis."



In dat geval ben ik blij dat ik niet True ben.


Valar Morghulis! All men must die -- Jaqen H’ghar


TNightmare
Usericon van TNightmare
Posted 29-10-2001 20:39 by TNightmare (Speciaal lid) Profiel van TNightmare

61. Thoroughly enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation.
62. Wait... scratch that last one. (See rule 1)

1. Don't be gay



Hoeveel mensen ik wel niet ken die Star Trek geweldig vinden!


madeline usher
The sow is mine!!
Usericon van madeline usher
Posted 29-10-2001 20:40 by madeline usher Profiel van madeline usher

quote:
Op 29 oktober 2001 9:53 schreef Lord Morgoth het volgende:
In dat geval ben ik blij dat ik niet True ben.


(nog aan het nahikken,want die lijst bezorgde me een lachbui van jewelste...)

Ik ook niet,want als "true zijn"van die regels moet afhangen,dan is dat niks om trots op te zijn...


Hello-hooray-let the show begin-I've been ready


karnivoor
Usericon van karnivoor
Posted 29-10-2001 20:44 by karnivoor Profiel van karnivoorhttp://www.kanker.nl/

bestaat er ook zoiets van 'true death metal'?


Je moeder.


Ixl
Angel of death
Usericon van Ixl
Posted 29-10-2001 21:53 by Ixl Profiel van Ixl

true of false.. ze komen allemaal op dezelfde festivals


God hates us all ! God hates us all !


ZwaarMetaal
.357
Usericon van ZwaarMetaal
Posted 29-10-2001 22:09 by ZwaarMetaal Profiel van ZwaarMetaalhttp://www.kommando.nl

hm ik KAN ook al niet True zijn.........



Mutilator
SPILL YER GUTS !!!!!! (Extra gore mod)
Usericon van Mutilator
Posted 29-10-2001 22:35 by Mutilator (Moderator) Profiel van Mutilatorhttp://wp.livereviewer.com/

quote:
Op 29 oktober 2001 20:44 schreef karnivoor het volgende:
bestaat er ook zoiets van 'true death metal'?


Zekers NIET!!!

Hier gaat het om de muziek en NIET om image!!!!!!!


The quality of our perceptions determines the quality of our judgement. Our judgement determines how we interact with the world. How we interact with the world changes the world. So, the quality of our perceptions changes the world.


karnivoor
Usericon van karnivoor
Posted 29-10-2001 22:40 by karnivoor Profiel van karnivoorhttp://www.kanker.nl/

en death metal is zowiezo true


Je moeder.


madeline usher
The sow is mine!!
Usericon van madeline usher
Posted 30-10-2001 12:00 by madeline usher Profiel van madeline usher

quote:
Op 29 oktober 2001 22:40 schreef karnivoor het volgende:
en death metal is zowiezo true


I adore it


Hello-hooray-let the show begin-I've been ready


skullfuck
smaakvervanger
Usericon van skullfuck
Posted 30-10-2001 21:48 by skullfuck Profiel van skullfuckhttp://

ik kan gewoon nie zonder!!!!!!!!!


Suck my piss


Vampire_girl
rabiës
Usericon van Vampire_girl
Posted 30-10-2001 21:53 by Vampire_girl Profiel van Vampire_girlhttp://www.sfu420.com/

Dan ben ik ook TRUE Death metal (en TRUE nep-black metal)


the only pleasure is pain


karnivoor
Usericon van karnivoor
Posted 30-10-2001 21:55 by karnivoor Profiel van karnivoorhttp://www.kanker.nl/

HAIL TO TRUE DEATH METAL!!! dus... jah...

eh... !


Je moeder.


Dit topic is 15 pagina's lang: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Index / Heavy Metal Active topics Nieuw topic Vorige pagina | Volgende pagina
http://www.zwaremetalen.com
Powered by ZwareMetalen [PHP] Forum Versie 2.15.0
Optimized for Internet Explorer 6.0 SP2+ / Opera 8+ / Firefox 1+
© 2001 - 2021 Stichting ZwareMetalen