| krisiunizer |
| Broadway, the hard way |
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 Posted 26-02-2009 20:26 by krisiunizer |
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Over goede recensies gesproken. Totaal offtopic, waarvoor bij voorbaat excuses.
ARCH ENEMY
Doomsday Machine
Can we just rename this band to Angela’s Titties? That’s the only reason this band sells. Go back to the male-fronted albums, did anyone know of Arch Enemy? Nope! Then Angela comes along on Wages of Sin and bam! Magically everyone is paying attention to Arch Enemy. Yeah, there was evolution between Black Earth and Wages of Sin, but it mostly consisted of recycling Michael Amott’s Heartwork riffs and trying to imitate the rest of the Swedish melodic death scene. Wages of Sin was decent but half of the praise was the obsession of Angela’s vocals, saying "Wow, she definitely proves that a chick can belt out death metal vocals alongside the guys." That’s true, but does any old guy necessarily make for a good death metal vocalist? HELL NO! Sure, she can pass as a guy doing it, but that doesn’t mean she can perform it well. These kids, so obsessed with the gender boundaries, forget what makes a good death vocal, and it’s not simply being able to drop the characteristics of the opposite sex.
So we get to Anthems of Rebellion and this is where Arch Enemy jumps in popularity. Amott is pushing out even more generic riffs showing little to no innovation and the theme of the lyrical content is tailor-made to appeal to the kids that go shopping at Hot Topic. No surprise, guess whose sales go flying through the roof? But unlike Wages of Sin- which was somewhat decent- this album is utter garbage. It continues to recycle the same riffs over and over while appealing to the lowest common denominator of high school freshmen fresh off their nu metal kick. "Hey an album about bucking conformist Nazis and ogling a lead singer with tits! FUCK YEAH!" says the freshman. It didn’t sell because it was kickass metal; it sold because Mortimer Wilkins III, President of the San Diego High School Furry Club and shift leader at Hot Topic, wanted something to bust a load with while staring at Alternative Press and Circus pictures of Angela Gossow and wearing his oh so humorous "You laugh at me because I’m different; I laugh at you because you’re all the same" t-shirt.
Now we have Doomsday Machine, yet another bound-to-be-overrated piece of dung from Arch Enemy. Good news, it’s better than Anthems of Rebellion; bad news, it still sucks ass. Amott is again recycling those Carcass and Swedish melodic death riffs that have never worked for him on the last few Arch Enemy albums, hoping no one will notice. To his credit, he’s a lot more reserved in it this time around, but it’s still there. Angela Gossow is putting more effort into her harsh death growls, but instead comes out sounding like she’s having the splintered end of a broken, lemon-soaked broom shoved up her ass and firmly sticking her colon. No, it doesn’t sound as good as one would hope. And you don’t get too far into the album when you hit "Nemesis", Doomsday Machine’s answer to "We Will Rise". Jesus, this is depressing.
And what the hell is up with the effects on these songs? "My Apocalypse" sounds like there is submarine sonar going off throughout the whole song. Sweet mother of Christ, it’s like Hunt for the Red October if Sean Connery spent the entire film gobbling cock. Then you get to "Skeleton Dance" which has some of the most generic "spooky" effects that I have every heard from a Halloween sound box. It’s not as bad as some of the horrid effects from the new Necrophagia album, but Christ it’s bad.
The only exception in this entire album is "Hybrids of Steel". However, rather than try and develop something new that is still identifiably Arch Enemy, Amott and Company rip off generic NWOBHM and prog metal ballads. The song comes off as a faceless 80’s metal instrumental. So they go from recycling generic material from one sub-genre of metal to recycling material from another sub-genre of metal. This shit is horrible!
And the kicker is Michael Amott proclaiming The Doomsday Machine as the "ultimate metal album" (his words). No, not the ultimate Arch Enemy album, but the ultimate metal album. To Amott, Doomsday Machine is better than Slaughter of the Soul, Lucid Interval, Unquestionable Presence, Human, Effigy of the Forgotten, Number of the Beast, Painkiller, …And Justice for All, Reign in Blood, Rust in Peace, Obscura, etc., etc. This slab of utter vitriolic shit is hardly the ultimate in anything other than the ultimate example of an illusory ego. The only way this can be the ultimate metal album would be if the majority of all the influential bands in the history of metal and all their after-products never existed. That’s the only way. This album is so horrendously incapable that it is hardly a decent Swedish melodic death metal album, much less the ultimate metal album.
Fuck Michael Amott and fuck this band. Doomsday Machine is yet another horrid failure on the roster for Arch Enemy. Fuck it- Angela’s Titties; I’m never referring to them as Arch Enemy ever again. From now on, it’s Angela’s Titties.
Written By: Necro-tron
[Dit bericht is gewijzigd door krisiunizer op 26-02-2009 20:27]
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beste recycling ooit
nooit meer
Klopt! Al is "Money talks" hun beste, vind ik.
